May, 4th 2015
Happy Anniversary!!!! XD lol
i could never imagine that i will stuck in this guy.
i wish we can spend more more time together since it's really hard for me to let him go. but if oneday, we need to be separated, i will never regret the things i've spend with him since i thought he is the turn point in my life.
everything start to change right from the time i met him.
yes it was a year ago when i met him at my friend's birthday.
im an introvert person who never get interested in other people. i never get close to people easily and im the one who always wait for other people to approach me first. im not the type of girl who can get close to people easily. but at that time, i feel like there's something in this guy. it's not that i've got interest in him, but idk i just remember him. even what he wears at those day.
day passed and without i realized, i start expect him to text me or just leave me a message but no. and i dont think much bout him. when suddenly i got a text from my friend asking my permission to give my contact to him. and idk but i really am got a little excited when i know that he will contact me.
and it was the beginning. we text each other frequently and getting close. he always calling me at night just to simply sing me a song or playing piano til i get sleep. we share a lot of story bout our life, trying to know each other more. but then he asked me to be his girlfriend, and really i got a little scared since im not a person who can doing good in a relationship. and slowly i got realized that im not myself recently. idk but i can tell him anything in my mind without getting worried that he will hate me or whatever, i feel like i can express myself to him without getting scared of being judges. and i think it was a disaster. so i start to distance myself from him. trying to get back to my old self who enjoy things with only myself, who only keep my mind from the world, who never share anything in my life, who always scared of being judge. i try to going back to myself who want to look good in everyone's eye and trying to distance myself from him, since i feel like i've been uncontrollable lately.
and i think everything will just end like that between me and him, but things happened and make me really cried for him, and with some help from my friend, we get back together, just in a friendzone but i start to feel my heart beating fast when i talk to him.
and in those short time he learned that im not a person who always express myself well, and i learned that he is an over-extrovert person. well he made me mad sometimes, and i really hate him but i dont know why but i feel like i can be my real self when im with him. i can laugh as hard as i can, i can do anything i want without scared of being judge. i feel that myself free and i feel like i prefer myself now than before.
and after a year everything just so different now.
me, the one who prefer to walk alone and never attached to other's people life.
now i've been hanging out with some friend talking about some nonsense, listen to my friend's problem and trying to think myself in their situations, and people just said that i'm being a little more friendly than before :\
a little hello from him, change my life to be more exciting.
thanks God to let me meet him to learn to enjoying my life more than before :)
i wish we really mean to be together til the end :)
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